Dr. Ragab's Universal Language by Robert Twigger

I picked this book up a couple of years back at M.R. Book Centre in Hyderabad. I was attracted to this book for 2 reasons- I found the title of the book catchy and the review at the back of the book mentioned it was funny.

I must admit, the reading of the book was a long drawn effort from me and I did give huge periods of break from reading the book. It was during my recent trip to Hyderabad that I finally managed to read a big part of the book.

The story is about a writer who is obsessed with bunkers and is to write about about the success story of an Aluminium Industry magnate. While preparing for this, he comes across a manuscript about Hertwig, who built a bunker on his own during the World War II and his quest for the Universal Language from the renowned and eccentric Dr. Ragab in Cairo.

A big part of the book is Hertwig's manuscript. The story is narrated in 2 parts- Hertwig's youth in the past, and the writer's present day and accordingly, different fonts are used to depict the different period. The earlier portions of the book are a bit funny- it will make you smile but not really roll on the floor laughing. As we continue to read, humour is almost non-existent, or if it is, definitely did not come across as funny to me. As the book progresses, it becomes a little philosophical. Hertwig's manuscript in particular is quite engaging and his travel through the desert has been described beautifully- it transports you to that time. The best part of the book is that it is not cluttered with too many characters. The writer has used simple language and if you recall my review of Make Me, some of the sentence construction is similar to that book, as in, sentences are unusually broken down in to small phrases which serve as stand alone sentences.

I found the ending really abrupt and did not quite understand it very well. To me, Hertwig comes across as a totally different person in the manuscript and in reality. While reading about Dr. Ragab, I really wanted to know more of his personality and capability- though he has been described as someone who is multifaceted, highly knowledgeable of several topics and eccentric, the writer has tried to emphasize on his eccentricity, which is not obvious most of the time. I would have loved to see more of his wisdom.

The Universal Language was not something I understood. There were a few words and phrases thrown in but I really did not understand what it was, as the words alone did not constitute the Universal Language. It is definitely not a mode of conversation. There were instances where Dr. Ragab uses the Universal Language to make himself invisible, which was not easy to comprehend. There is a bit of a philosophical explanation to it, which again, I did not understand. Probably, it is because I have not yet attained that level of maturity in understanding philosophical topics.

Overall, I would rate the book 3/5 due to the fact that a big part of the book was quite engaging but the ending, which was, as mentioned earlier, quite abrupt. The Universal Language could have been explained better and that I would have loved to see more character development of Dr. Ragab. It is not a bad book but not a great one.

Conversations with Siri

Inspired by the episode on the Big Bang Theory where Raj and Siri, the virtual assistant on Apple products engage in a conversation, I have tried the same on several occasions when I did not have much to do. Excerpts of some recent conversations:

When the focus is on Siri:











On My Boredom:



On Friendship






Apple vs Google vs Microsoft
























When Siri resorts to Sidhuism/Tharoorism



Some random chit-chat

Q1 Review of Goals

In the beginning of the year, I set aside some goals (click here). It was time I reviewed my performance on these just to see where I was:

Health: Keep up my daily exercise routine and ensure that I work-out atleast 5 days a week. Eat healthy meals every day- monthly once cheat day would be allowed. I would also go to bed at a pre-defined time and wake up everyday at the same time.

Q1 Update: For a big part of 2018, I have kept this up but I must admit, I have fallen off the wagon a bit in the month of April. I plan to reinforce my work on this goal from May.

Sharpening My Culinary Skills: I have decided to not just cook regular homely meals but push myself to prepare more gourmet dishes. I have made some in 2017 as well but would like to take things to another level. I have decided to cook 10 gourmet savoury dishes and 10 gourmet sweet dishes in the year. I will be scheduling this in my monthly planner. It will take an effort to get the recipes and ingredients together. It is a little ambitious but I will do my best.

Q1 Update: I was so lost on how to go about this. On the face of it, this might seem quite simple but in reality, was quite difficult. However, the TV show Chef's Line gave me a clear direction on how to proceed. I have now a very good idea of what to cook. I have gathered enough recipes and will be cooking them away from May. Now all these years, I have only been cooking for my family of 3. This year though, I have been regularly cooking for guests and have received a good feedback from them. So, I would not really be very hard on myself about this goal. The service to the guests has kept the machine running.

Blogging: I have decided to blog once a week in 2018. I do not want to blog sporadically but keep to a schedule. I have been inspired by Mr. Vinod Ekbote who has been blogging for the last 10 years and has been posting every Friday on his blog without fail- click here to check out the blog. I just think I need to set time aside for it and do it every week. I have a diary that is full of things that I would like to put up on my blog but due to several reasons have not been able to do so. However, I am determined to do it in 2018.

Q1 Update: This is one thing that I have been doing quite consistently this year. I hope to keep it that way. At the end of the year, I expect to have 52 blog posts. The most challenging part about this goal is pushing myself to come up with content every single week.

Watercolour Art: I am enjoying learning watercolour art from various online resources. I would make at least 10 proper watercolour paintings in 2018. It just must be scheduled in my monthly planner.

Q1 Update: I must admit, I have not focussed on this goal at all. However, this exercise of reviewing my goals at the end of the quarter, has helped me realise that the area where I have lacked focus. From the month of May, there will be a sure-shot progress here as well (Wow!! May is surely going to be a hot month!)

Launching my Youtube Channel: This has been on my mind for some time. I have still some way to go. I am not sure if it will be possible in 2018. I have to shoot some high quality videos and do some high quality editing. This is a good-to-do goal for 2018 and not must-do as I do not want to rush into it and put up some shoddy videos out in public.

Q1 Update: I am not working towards it too much. I do not feel prepared yet for this. I have created some private video content but there is still a long way to go. I might not actively pursue this goal this year. If it happens, well and good but I will not beat myself up if it does not work out.

Writing: in my journal everyday and at least one page a day. The goal I had in 2017 was to finish writing on all pages of the journal, which in the hindsight, did not make much sense. The goal for 2018 will not only ensure that I keep to my habit of writing, but also as a bonus, would help me finish writing on all the pages. I hope I will not get demotivated like 2017 and give up.

Q1 Update: I have been doing this quite regularly but to be honest, I really do not have much or anything to write on certain days. However, I am doing way better than 2017. I would say I have written on 90% of the days.

Reading: I have lowered the number of books to read in 2018 to 10. As you can see, there is a lot on my plate and I do not want to make the activity that I love so much to be one that induces stress. I would also like to read some good literature, and not just fun-light reading books. I think reading before bed works for me great and I think a good 15-30 minutes before bed would be great.

Q1 Update: This is work in progress. However, it is moving at a snail's pace. I did have a big reader's block, which seems to be vanishing slowly. I am on the verge of completing my first book of the year. It should be done soon. Maybe today or latest by tomorrow.

Travelling: It is my goal to travel to 5 different places in 2018. I better get started on my vacation planning soon.

Q1 Update: A lot of plans have been made and so far, nothing has materialised. However, I am quite positive about it coming to fruition in the coming months.

Apart from this, I am working actively on some of my professional and personal goals and I hope to see some progress in the coming days.

When Life Gives You Onions....Chop Them Without Tears

Life is like an Onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

- Carl Sandburg

This is a great simile but in reality, we tend to weep almost every time we chop onions. I learnt by observation over a period of time that this is not completely true as well. I have personally experienced tearless onion chopping. This post was inspired by a question posted on one of the food groups that I am a part of on Facebook- "Is there any way we can chop onions without weeping?" To be honest, I thought it was common knowledge on how one could tearlessly chop onions but the post made me realise that there are still quite a few people who may not be aware.

If you browse the internet, you will find several hacks which may work as well. However, I would like to share with you what really works for me- Refrigerate the onions for at least 30 minutes before chopping them. You need to start chopping them almost immediately and not let them come back to room temperature. 

The Science Behind this Hack:

When we chop onions, syn-propanethial-S-oxide is released which reaches our eyes, irritate them and cause watering. The molecules of the this compound are made less volatile when refrigerated and does not rush up to our eyes as soon as we begin to cut into onions. So, it is important that you chop up the onions before they reach room temperature. It would take a good 10-15 mins for the chilled onions to arrive at room temperature which is more that enough for you to do the chopping, unless of course you are planning to chop up a huge quantity of onions- in which case you should invest some time in planning.

The other thing to remember is- do not store onions in the refrigerator for days, months, years, decades and centuries. It could lead them to spoil, not to mention the stench, and then, you would be weeping for different reasons. Just pop them in the refrigerator just 30 minutes before chopping them. If you are in a great hurry, just put them in the freezer for about 6-8 minutes before chopping.

Let us give the onions what they deserve- a happy, joyful devouring rather than an irritable, tearful one.

Hyderabad- After 6 months

I was returning to Hyderabad after 6 months of moving out of the city. It was for a short trip of 4 days with my family. I was staying at my home there and it was a very different experience this time. Previously, I went into a nicely set home where we had everything one needed to lead a comfortable life. However, since we moved out now, the home there was almost barren. There was no furniture except for a cot that we deliberately left behind, no utensils, no TV, no wi-fi internet, no refrigerator, no gas connection, no air-conditioning etc. Here is an account of the highlights of the trip.

Day 1: We arrived in Hyderabad during the early morning hours in Kacheguda. It was cooler than we anticipated. I love the sight of the beautiful white Kacheguda station- it seems like one made for the royal family.
 Once home, we got it cleaned. The next thing we wanted to do was have a shower. However, the water would not pass through the geyser, so we booked a OYO room in a nearby hotel....until we discovered an electric kettle that we left behind in a wall cabinet. It really came to our rescue. We thought of several uses of it- the most important one being able to heat the water for a bath. We heated the water using the kettle for our bath and since it was all working fine, cancelled our hotel room. We went out for a brunch and then a bit of shopping to Sultan Bazaar. If you remember my previous blog post (click here if you do not), I really like shopping in Sultan Bazaar. We wanted to keep our luggage light so did not really buy much. However, we did go to Rajshree Dry Fruits and got some simple snacks to munch on and also a pack of instant misal and pav. Day 1 though hot, was quite bearable with a fan to keep us cool. I slept on the floor with just a sheet and an air-pillow (the one which is inflated by blowing air into it) and this continued throughout the trip.

The Life-changing Kettle definitely deserved some credit in this blog

Day 2: We had Misal-Pav for breakfast. We reconstituted the misal with the boiling hot water from the kettle. We purchased a small glass bowl so that we can use it for the basic cooking with the water from the kettle, if needed. After finishing a bit of business in the city, we had a lunch in a restaurant.  We also purchased a couple of packs of instant noodles and used the boiling water from the kettle to cook it. I had this for dinner, along with a banana. One could really feel the sweltering hot Hyderabad summer and the urge to drink lots of water.

Day 3: This was a movie day. After lunch we went to watch a movie, which was just an excuse to enjoy the air-conditioning of the theatre. On our way back, we had a nice snack and also parcelled a bit of food for dinner. However, the snack was quite filling and we skipped the dinner. Now, the challenge was to store the parcelled food without the refrigerator. My MIL came up with an amazing solution. We filled up the glass bowl we bought on day 2 with water and placed a plastic container with the food in it, in the glass bowl. The food was intact on the following day. The temperature touched 40C this day and it was pretty hot.

Day 4: This day for me was a reunion with my friends. I met a few of them in a mall and a few of them in my former office. It was time well spent and was great catching-up. I felt like I never left. All our friendships were still as warm as they were 6 months ago. I really had a good time. I hope they liked the home-made chocolates (made by someone else, not me) I got for them. It was a hot day again with temperature touching 40C yet again.

What Changed in Hyderabad in 6 months:

• The metro service in the city has started and the construction in other parts of the city seemed to be in full-swing with greater energy than 6 months back.
• I absolutely loved the replacement of conventional bulbs illuminating the streets, with LED lights. The streets now not only seem brighter than before but also cooler owing to the white light compared to the fire-like lights from bulbs.
• In the Hi-Tec City part of Hyderabad, there has been massive development of buildings, in just 6 months. The areas that seemed pretty barren were now lodged with a lot of new completed/under-construction buildings. My only fear after viewing the rapid urbanisation is a fate similar to Bangalore. I hope the Telangana government would learn from Bengaluru's woes and take necessary measures.
• Durgam Cheruvu was neglected for quite some time. I think they have started some sort of a beautification process there which seems interesting. The place has had on and off attention and it is good to see some change being brought about there.
•  Hyderabad for once seemed quite expensive. At least I did not feel any difference in the price of commodities compared to Bangalore, which seemed pretty obvious when I moved there 5.5 years ago. In fact, some things seemed more expensive in Hyderabad. The rents might be still cheaper compared most of the other southern capital cities, but it is climbing up is what I have heard.
• The traffic seems to have gone up considerably as well but still not in a terrible situation.

The one thing I hoped would change but did not was Autorickshaws. They have a meter but it is just because the vehicle came with it. There is absolutely no intention to use it and one is at the mercy of the price quoted by the drivers. Though some of them budge from the quoted price, most do not.

This trip gave me an opportunity to disconnect for longer periods during the day, from the world of webs. I really felt nostalgic about the time I moved to Hyderabad as a bride, the time I bade farewell to my best friend from there and her visit in one occasion after she left Hyderabad, the joys and troubled times that we sailed through together as a family. I also made a lot of progress with my reading- review would be posted once I am done reading. I wish I could go to Himalaya Book World, Deccan Pen Stores in Abids and a whole bunch of other places in the city and meet more of my friends- maybe next time!

Behind A Mask by Louisa May Alcott

I always thought audio books were not for me but I did see a lot of friends really appreciate and enjoy audiobooks that I thought of giving it a try. I love classics and found the audiobook- Behind A Mask on the Podcast app.

The Book:

I had previously read Little Women and its sequels by Louisa May Alcott and loved them. I had never heard of this book before but thought it was something similar to Little Women. However, it is quite different. The book is inspired from some personal experience of the writer.

The story begins with the arrival of Jean Muir, a poor governess to a teenage girl in the Coventry household.  At the very beginning of the story itself, the writer indicates that Jean has an ulterior motive for taking up the job with the Coventrys. She soon wins hearts of everyone in the household except for Gerald, who has his suspicions about her; Lucia who is jealous of her many skills and also worried that she might be trying to charm her fiancé  Gerald and Dean, Lucia's maid. Over a period of  time she also wins over Gerald but he was not the prize she was eyeing. You need to read/listen to the book to know more. There are several other important characters in the book who contribute actively to the development of the story- Edward (Gerald's brother), John (Uncle of Gerald), Mrs. Coventry (Gerald's mother), Bella- the teenage sister of Gerald, whose care and education was Jean Muir's primary responsibility as a governess.

The story seems to have a setting in the Victorian era where a lot of emphasis on the appropriateness of behaviour of men and women was given. The descriptions of the lifestyle followed by the Coventrys also gives an indication that the story was probably set in the Victorian age.

I enjoyed the story a lot but had I been the writer, I would demonstrate Jean Muir's intentions and reality only in the end. The revelation comes too early in the story. However, the ending is not as I expected where good prevails over evil. If I were to rate the book on a scale of 1-5, I would rate it 4/5 for the aforementioned reason.

The Audiobook Experience

I did not know what to expect. I downloaded the Audible app by Amazon and here, the reading of some of the books I chose to sample were done either by the writers themselves or some celebrities. However, in the podcast app, it was neither the writer nor a celebrity. The experience may not be the same for Audible and Podcast. I have summarised my experience below solely based on the Podcast app:

-  The reading was quite fluent and since it was a podcast, split into several weekly episodes. Luckily for me, the reading of the entire book was already done, so, I was able to listen to all the episodes one after another.
- A brief introduction to the writer and a bit of background to the story was provided before the actual reading, which was quite interesting for someone like me who usually dives in straight to the story.
- Jean Muir seems to have come from France but the reader seemed to forget it. Some of her dialogues are in French accent, while others are not.
- While reading, I find myself more focussed and rapt but while listening, I found myself zoning in and out sometimes or distracted several times by something or the other, as, I listened to the whole book during my commute to work. I think I have to get used to listening to a reading.
- It felt nice to be read to after a long time and the reader did a fairly good job. Following this book, I tried having a reading of another book by another reader but it sounded so dull that I could not bear it for long and had to close it prematurely.
- While reading, we often know how certain words or certain not-so-common names are spelt but not necessarily the sound of it. While listening, you may hear the words/names and not really know how they are written- this is from another book I chose, not this one.
- It really helps one keep themselves constructively occupied during a long commute or even in sickness when you feel like reading but the activity may seem strenuous- this comes in handy.
- While reading a conventional book, I sometimes re-read some impressive pages or passages over and over again by simply bookmarking them. It is difficult to do this in the podcast app. I have not tried it in Audible.
- I liked the experience but cannot say I loved it. I probably need to read more (or must I say listen to more) to love the experience.

P.S: I hope you liked the original artwork on this post :-).

Workforce Moms- An Interview with 4 Amazing Moms

I am very excited about this week's blog as it is in collaboration with 4 lovely ladies who are a part of the workforce while being moms. I know many women do not like to be referred to as working mothers or workforce moms. I would probably also not like it. However, I am using the terminology in this blog with the sole intent of distinguishing between the women who have not chosen to be a part of the workforce and those who have chosen to be a part of it. While I say this, I would like to show all the ladies who prefer to be stay at home moms, my greatest respect as I am well aware of the challenges they face.

I write this blog in the view of the International Women's Day that just went by on 08MAR2018. For me, International Women's Day is a mark of achievements that women have made with respect to parity in pay and opportunities. Just 2 years back, women in some countries were not even "allowed" to drive or vote. This year, we are aware of at least one country which has recognised the contributions a woman can make to the society and have amended their laws to make this possible. I know there are still quite a few issues related to women that needs to be addressed, so I do understand why many women chose to "uncelebrate" Women's day. However, I request them to please also celebrate the progress made related to some of the women's issues as well and also "uncelebrate",  but not in a manner that could hurt the sentiments of other women- for example, a victim of acid attack who wants to celebrate her life returning to normalcy using the platform of International Women's Day.

Now, back to the collaboration with the 4 lovely women- These moms discuss their challenges and support mechanisms that enabled them to pursue their career. Please do note that the views that they have expressed in this blog is completely their own and are not of their employers/institutions.

Let us have a quick round of introduction before the discussion begins:

Malabika Maulik (MM): a post-grad student pursuing a PhD in US who is also a mother to a 3 year old boy.

Hiya Mukherjee (HM): a clinical research professional based in India who is also a mother to a 4 year old boy.

Deepti Vimal (DV): a doctor by qualification, working in a healthcare organisation, based in India, who is also a mom to a beautiful 3 year old girl

Kavita Shenoy (KS): a bank professional based in India is a mom to a 20s something son and a teenage daughter

This is what they had to say about some of the questions posed to them:

Did you face any insecurities related to your career in view of your pregnancy/maternity during or before your maternity leave? If yes, what were they and how did you deal with it? If no, how did you manage to stay confident?

MM: I was a second year graduate PhD student when I conceived. Honestly I never faced insecurity related my career during my pregnancy. My insecurities were mostly related to how am I going to react to this big change in life. However, after the baby was born I was facing lot of emotional problems and episodes of memory loss. I felt that I won’t be able to cope with the immense pressure of graduate studies. I was appearing for my qualifying exams which is mandatory to pass to qualify for the final defense . Moreover, I didn’t have any maternity leave. However, thanks to my understanding advisor and supporting spouse and friends, I was always able to work around with a very flexible schedule. I was very lucky to give birth in a place with relatively less prejudices on childbirth and post pregnancy life. Here it is very normal for women to carry on with their normal lives after delivering a baby.

HM: No. I had a good discussion about my development plan with my manager what I would be responsible for before I started my ML. The transition was already planned how we would manage upon my return.

DV: No, not at all. I feel extremely lucky to work with a manager who always appreciated my hard work. While I was carrying, never ever a thought of insecurity came into my mind. To further add to my confidence, I was promoted during my maternity leave. I still remember when I had received call from my manager informing about my promotion. It was a pleasant surprise and quite motivational too!

KS: No. My superiors had trust on the quality of work and the honesty with which I perform I did not
have any insecurity pertaining to my career before or after my ML. It is also true that when a lady
proceeds on Maternity Leave of 6 long months that creates an obvious uneasiness in the minds of
superiors as the work gets hampered. Hence the boss tries to transfer her to some other not so
important department fearing frequent availing of child care leave even after her rejoining.

Many Indian women are often criticised for focussing on their career and not show the expected level of care to the child. This may not be true but th criticism exists.  Have you faces such criticism and how do/did you deal with it?

MM: Well I didn’t face any criticism for that. But I didn’t have any success with breastfeeding. We tried a lot and there was immense support from public health officials. We ultimately found out that my son was ‘tongue tied ‘ and needed an operation to fix it. But people kept on telling me how important it is to breastfeed as it would make him smarter, stronger and protect him against diseases ( all true!). But I was not able to neither naturally nor by Breast pumping ( took awefully long time and I disliked it ). So well I received my bit of criticism on that part.


HM: Yes criticism does exist in society. What is needed is strong support from your spouse/partner. I have faced it myself and the best thing to do is to ignore such talks and stick on what you are doing.  Both as a mother and at work.
And also be open about your limitation
Set the expectation at work that you may not be able to work long hours everyday or take late calls
And at home you tell the extended family members that while at work you may not be able to attend to everyone their concern unless it's an emergency for the child...
Then set clear responsibility with spouse and manage accordingly

KS: I strongly believe that in comparison with western countries for Indian mothers their child
acquires prime place and their career next. Hence the Sanskrit adage ‘Kuputhro Bhavathi, Kumatha
Na Bhavathi.” Yes, since I live in a small city when I rejoined after my Maternity leave my neighbours openly called me stone-hearted and started sympathising the toddler. But believe me, later they changed their opinion and started appreciating me for the way I was striking a balance between my career and childcare. I used to spend maximum time with the children once I am back office and on all the holidays playing with them and helping them out in their studies and school projects.

DV: Expected level of care may differ from person to person. I have never faced criticism on face, but yes, I have received those eye brow raising reactions or sympathy filled reactions (of course for my daughter), when they come to know that my daughter goes to full-day creche. I feel I am giving my daughter the best care I can, which any nuclear family with both working parents will.

How do you deal with providing care and cater to the needs of your child while there are critical deadlines and work situations that require your time and attention?

HM: Sharing responsibility with spouse/partner for child care... at work, set expectation, share workload and delegate as needed
It's a challenge to manage both.. So only committ after knowing how much you can do

KS: I sought help my counterpart i.e my husband to obtain leave and support the child. But when my son wanted my moral support during his board exams I convinced my boss and got the leave sanctioned. But on the days of his exam I used to go to the office, sometimes half-a-day to handle work situations even during my sanctioned leave.

DV: I try my best not to bring work to home, but in times of those work related unavoidable critical situations, I have extremely supportive and understanding husband who takes care of my daughter and her needs.

MM:   Me and my husband worked in shifts to take care of the kid. Also I am blessed with a great daycare and a great set of friends who have never let us down in taking care of the kiddo in case we both have deadlines to meet.

What kind of policies/laws do you think would help bring more mothers into the workforce or make it easy for already working mothers?

DV: Policies like working from home, flexible working hours, six working hours from 6th month of pregnancy, flexibility of leaving office space early after joining post maternity leaves, and creche facility are the policies which make it easy for working mothers.

MM: I think there are policies like paid maternity leave. There should also be policies like paternity leave so that both spouses can spend equal time in taking care of the child. This will also give some respite to the new mother. Also, there is a lot to do with the mindset of the people. A mother wants to work not because she doesn’t like her children, because she wants to be equally empowered and accountable to meet the needs of the family.

HM: Flexi hours work best along with existing WFH policies.. Laws are a little too much 😊 but more than policies and laws it's the awareness amongst managers that helps best to support a working mother .. So creating sensitivity awareness and making the managers empathetic will work better than policies and laws.

KS: All the problems I faced is related to leave sanction. Hence I feel Ladies should be given preference over male colleagues while sanctioning leave. Sorry Sir/s, I think you agree with me that a woman has to play diversified roles. Hence the preference. Apart from this I don’t expect any women-oriented policies because they are often misused. Again when we talk of Equality for Women we don’t have right to demand more.

Did the thought of quitting your job ever cross your mind? How did you deal with such it?

HM: For me it was not an option as I knew I had to work to support my family. But it sometimes does cross people's mind and then it's again how the manager empathizes and provides different options to manage

KS: Yes. Since I did not have any elders at home I thought of leaving the job at that juncture. Leaving the child in the hands of a governess used to bring nightmares. Finally I convinced my trustworthy maid to be a part-time care taker. True to my expectations she took care of the child very well. I am into a transferable job where getting a place of one’s choice and getting relieved from the place of earlier posting include inter connected processes. During such times also I wanted to quit my job. But when I stopped thinking through my heart and started thinking through my brain I have always realised that Organisation also has some policies in dealing with such issues and patient waiting from employees side is the only solution for that.

DV: Yes, there were some situations when i thought of quitting my job, but then I always feel apart from financial stability, being in a job also gives you your own identity. In spite of being in different roles including mother, one should not forget own identity.

MM: No I never felt like quitting my job. I felt like giving up on my studies for sure but a lot of people told me that I should not give up because once we have children the responsibilities increases exponentially with time. So there will no more ‘right times’in our lives to do stuff.

What kind of a support system would help or make it wasy for parents to have successful careers and a good family life? Can one have it all?

KS: Best support system is one’s family. Your family is "your" family. To some extent an understanding and humane boss also will play an important role in shaping your career. But the company/ Organisation should not be gender-biased. All employees should be treated equal.

MM: Supportive spouses and understanding in laws. I know some of my friends just had to quit because spouses are indifferent Or they are been shamed for putting children in daycare or even in laws have said that they are not ready to be nanny because of the mother should have the ‘fun’ of motherhood !!There are also some cases when mother had to quit because she genuinely couldn’t find good care for her kids. Having said all that, It’s very hard to strike a balance. We can only try !!!

DV: Whatever works best for the situation or a particular family, be it kids growing up under observation of their grandparents or kids staying in day care, of course one can't deny the advantages of being with grandparents.

HM: It's difficult to do it all at one go. It's has to be phased out.... there is no best support system per say... staying with in-laws has it's pros and cons.. having a maid also has the same.. similarly not staying with in-laws and no maid support has it's pros and cons..  we have to adjust in the situation we are by balancing everything right. But companies providing creche/day care facility or with their flexi policies and well trained managers are the best support system a working mother can have... every child is different.. So the kind of support system needed may vary from parents to parents

How do you manage to make time for doing things you enjoy?

HM: Take a break.. don't feel guilty when you are having some fun... again partner/spouse plays a big role... discuss and agree that a particular day of the week or month is your day.. to hang out with friends.. or go to a spa or salon...whatever one wishes. The most important thing is to disengage your thoughts and enjoy the moment.. and DON'T FEEL GUILTY..

DV: As previously mentioned, I have an extremely supportive husband who takes care of my daughter while I am busy doing things which I love :)

MM: I don’t have time at this moment. As I said it’s very hard to balance there are some hits and misses. But, I am hoping to learn new sport like swimming which will involve both my son and me.

KS: By skipping my sleep. Since I belong to old school of thought I sometimes feel guilty if I take space for myself. I feel I am stealing my family’s time. Hence I sit late in the night for doing something I enjoy and keep myself lively. But now that children are grown up I involve them by taking their suggestions and help. They feel elated when their mother bags a prize in small competitions. Just like how we expect our children to be the toppers they also expect something from their mothers.

Final Thoughts:

MM: Please do not judge ‘working mothers’. Being a mother is not easy. Every person has their share of difficulties. There are reasons why she would or would not chose to work. Respect them. Mothers are often lauded as ‘ superhumans’ but end of the day they are Humans made of flesh, blood, tears and emotions.

KS: To sum up, Motherhood is a great experience. Childcare requires a little amount of perseverance and patience. Where there is a will there is a way. If handled wisely one will not find it difficult. Career growth and Family can definitely go hand in hand.

HM: When  we were kids our parents did not have so many media to get trained on best parenting skills.. they either learnt from their parents or in-laws or some relative and friend.. they were allowed to make mistakes and learn from them.. but for this generation parents because of too many teaching media (social media mostly) there are just too many floating advices and the expectation from parents are too high. So, there is a lot of pressure in how you bring up a kid from many sources... including schools conducting parenting classes... and any mistake made is sometimes blown out of proportion. Like any other experience and skill, parenting should also be allowed at times to make mistakes and then learn and not be made into a social ridicule by circulating in social media

Personally for me, it was a great experience to go through these discussions. I think there are some useful tips in case one is looking for them. Hope you enjoyed going through this discussion, as much as I did.