August 6,2012; Monday; 6:45pm- S and R enter wedlock
December 6,2012; Thursday; 6:45pm- S and R married for 4 whole months
....and boy has it been a fun journey!!!! The first 4 months of marriage are so important. They help you build the foundation for the rest of your lives. It is the time where the couple have to probably make lifestyle changes...most often they are big changes but they are ones that happen so readily, so easily and naturally that you really have to think back hard to recall how it was before. Both of us have lived through a lot these 4 months- Our 1st trip post-marriage to Mauritius, my moving to Bangalore for 2 months for work, his frequent trips to meet me, my final move to Hyderabad. Amidst all these movements back and forth across cities, we found joy in simple things together- be it our 1st month anniversary cake or silly banter or buying stuff together for our home.
Our Story in Brief: It all started with a chat of few mins, but as time went by, few mins, stretched to an hour and then few hours and then all night. We had no choice, we had so much to say to each other that a lifetime seemed insufficient. We had to get married.
Every woman feels that her husband is the best in the world and it is because she has found the missing piece of a complex puzzle called life and believes he is 'THE' person she can spend her life with, without any regrets. I am one such person I guess :-)
Anyway, all this said and done, I now feel qualified to impart my knowledge and share my experience with those who are planning to about to enter wedlock by busting 3 common myths.
Myth 1: You both have got to have the exact same interests.
Reality: Both R and I are incompatibly compatible. We have similar interests but they are quite dissimilar. For example: We are both fond of reading but the kind of books we love to read are entirely different. I love reading fiction mainly and sometimes a bit of non-fiction. He loves reading books on codes and computers, philosophy and occasionally non-fiction. We love listening to music but the genres again are quite different. He loves Rap (and I can't stand it) while I love Rock, a bit of Indi (Tapori numbers he says, but honestly I like anything peppy and/or melodious), pop and a bit of classical. These are just examples. There are so many other similar (dis)liking. So you see, you we have interests that may seem similar but are actually poles apart.
Myth 2: You will be tied down once you are married and will not have as much freedom as you did as a single. You will lose your independence.
Reality: I was a big believer of this and would avoid the topic of marriage as much as I could. I knew a bunch of people who seemed very clingy to their spouse. Now, that I am sailing in a similar boat, I realise that I have all the independence one can ask for and more. My new family is so supportive and encourage me to pursue my interests. My space was of the utmost importance to me and I am so happy that I have it in abundance and it is very well respected as well. Of course, there are some responsibilities, but these are responsibilities one enjoys to take up on and does not look upon as punishment. Marriage is not the finish line but a new beginning.
Myth 3: Hindi daily soaps (drama) depict what happens in real life
Reality: Huh?? You don't believe this, do you?? Well, an honest confession- long long time ago, when I was naive and in my early 20s, I did believe this. With whatever little of the soaps that I watched- all saasus seemed so vicious and scheming. To add to that, there were a host of chachis, maamis, nanads, mausis who could do nothing all day other than spew poison and scheme to put the new bride through all kinds of agni-parikshas and test her patience and resolve. In reality, I found this so very far from reality. My mother-in-law is such a loving, caring woman from whom I learn a lot as the days pass by. R's aunts and uncles are such a joy to be with and such wonderful, loving and kind people that I cannot even imagine in my wildest dreams that they can even think of anything negative for anyone who is not family as well.
Having said all that I have so far, it is quite important to know what you are getting into before getting married. The myths can become a reality if you dive into the sea of marriage blindfolded. Spend time together with each other and try to get to know him/her and try to look for that inner-voice that says- This is it!! I may have painted a rosy picture of marriage here but remember, it is not always roses and peaches. There would be thorns that would prick and prick real hard at times. It is your love and togetherness that will help you through the toughest of times.
