I am Not There Yet...- A Short Story

I write in this diary today with great emotion and a heavy heart. 
It all feels like yesterday. I still have a vivid memory of the day I graduated from college. I had always been an average student. I was so happy to have made it through college. My brother thought of me to be very special and congratulated me with an expensive set of pens. I decided to use them when I became somebody in life.

Nobody had any expectations from me. I got myself a poorly paying job. I was ashamed to tell people how much I made, but made an unshakable resolve to earn enough to proudly tell people my salary and be an object of envy. I soon found such a job. I considered writing with my prized pens but...I was not there yet.

I did not want to take my well-paying job for granted and put in my heart and soul and in a short time, became a manager of big team. I thought of using my beautiful pens now, but, I had only become a manager and had to prove myself in the role to be worthy of writing with my special pens.

I continued to persevere at work, and in a few years became a Director in my company. I thought of taking out those beautiful expensive pens and use it for signing off all those piles of important documents I had to sign every day. I brought them to work finally but I had a feeling that I was not there yet. I was only a Director after all. I decided to keep them for a better day and place.

The position of Director came with great responsibility. There was one crisis after another to combat everyday. It seemed like swimming in an eternal ocean of crisis. Over a period of time, from darkness, I began to see light at work. All that craziness, all that sleepless nights seemed to pay off and the crisis situation slowly and steadily began to improve. Soon, I was appointed the Vice President. I was over the moon. I thought I was finally in the place I wanted to be. I decided to use my precious pens. Just when I was about to uncap the pen, I received a call to see the President of my company.  I dropped the pen and went to see him immediately. He had a nice long discussion with me about his fabulous vision for the company. I realised that I am not there yet. If I have to somebody, it had to be like him. I thanked fate for the interruption as I felt I would not have been able to forgive myself if I wrote with those pens.

In a couple of days time, the President of my company asked me to lead the corporate social responsibility initiatives in the company. I took a lot of personal interest in it and from a company's mission, it became my own. I began putting a lot of my personal time into it. I was happy to make a lot of difference to the society. This was recognized by my country as well and I received one of the highest honours in the country. I made appearances on some small newspapers and some corners of big newspapers. I thought, now I am definitely somebody. I wanted to write with those pens. As the thought of the pens crossed my mind, I received a call from the President of the company. There was an emergency meeting scheduled at his office.

I rushed to his office. I found him and the board of directors sitting across the table. They broke the news to me- the President had decided to step down due to personal reasons and had nominated me as his successor. The board of directors seemed to agree with him. I was thankful of the divine intervention yet again. Now was my chance to be somebody finally.

Within 6 months, I was appointed as the company President. How thrilled I was!!! I became the cover of most of the popular business magazines and made it to the front pages of several newspapers. I was called to talk at various forums with my counterparts. Media covered all my major life events. My opinion seemed to matter to the world. I was convinced that I was somebody now. My new sectretary was up to date and with great foresight. He had bigger ambitions for me. He told me of a big Government project was coming along and if our company was able to bag it, I will go down in the history books. I decided to wait a bit longer before I used my pens as I was not there yet.

My company bagged the project today after years of negotiations and discussions with the Government. Funny thing is, I retired yesterday, at the ripe age of 60 yesterday. Today, I am nobody, I am living the life of a 'former'. This "nobody", decided to use those precious pens. I opened the box of pens after several  years today. To my disappointment, the inner segments of the pens had rusted and could not be used any more. I think, it is probably because I am not somebody yet. I am not there yet!!!!